[ a package is brought to sébastien's quarters, wrapped neatly in brown paper and tied with twine. once opened, sébastien will find a book, hardcover and obviously old — the aerie still has a publishing industry but it is not as large as it once was and joe takes special care in making sure the books his shop does have are well looked after and restored to the best of his ability. as with the previous books, after a handful of chapters, small notes begin appearing at the bottom of the pages in joe's neat handwriting. taken together, each line at the bottom of a page, sometimes separated by entire chapters, they form a poem: ]
There are moments that cry out to be fulfilled. Like, telling someone you love them. Or giving your money away, all of it.
Your heart is beating, isn't it? You're not in chains, are you?
There is nothing more pathetic than caution when headlong might save a life, even, possibly, your own.
[ the last page has a small drawing of a bird trembling with a desire to take flight from his branch, movement visible even in the still drawing. it's signed, as always, ]
— Joe
Edited (moments by mary oliver) 2020-11-30 03:18 (UTC)
[ This isn't the first book that's been sent to him. And like the others, once he has finished reading every word of it from cover to cover, carefully pulling its secrets from the pages, Sébastien will place it on his shelf where it remains a treasured object but also a haunting one; a library of lessons and he is its student.
For some time, a quiet but very true friendship had been born between him and Joe, and for some time it has been shaking the foundations that had taken his whole life to get here. He would be a willfully ignorant fool if he'd said that this life, this world out of reach of the Congregation is a fair one, because even in the upper echelon of the Volary, there is bias and judgment and rank and he is no stranger to any of those things. The deeds he'd done to pull himself out from the dirty pits of hell keep his hands unclean, and his blood — born of sadness and suffering — remains impure no matter how many glittering jackets he puts on.
But he is still here, still surrounded by riches, and comfort, and a new family (he thinks of Jyn and Margo) — the latter of whom he would do anything for. And Joe had asked him through beautiful words and delicate drawings, but what of everyone else?
He can't get that out of his head, no matter how he might try. That Kai and Nile especially have been thrown into the upcoming Quarry feels like the rose-tinted glasses he'd been desperately trying to keep on are being yanked from his eyes.
[ it's dangerous, of course. sébastien is a rook, he could say a word and joe would find his ass in the quarry and nicky absolutely furious with him — joe's rule with himself is that he won't lie to nicky if his kestrel work finds him in the quarry.
Alright she lives by killing the other participants, lives with knowing their families are grieving and have to go through it all over again the next month, lives knowing their pain was so she could live, that even surviving one Quarry won't protect her from another.
Sure, she lives and the Quarry stops mattering to you because your friend isn't in it. No matter that her friends could be dying in a month while she relives what she had to do to survive.
[ 'Do something about it', like he isn't caught up in complications upon complications of politics, some of the Volary members far more cunning and dangerous than the roughest thug he's taken on in the Congregation.
They wouldn't just hurt him, they would hurt everyone he has ever known and cared about — and yes, that includes Joe. ]
[ Some of it is possible enough, untraceable even by him.
Some of it, however, is dangerous, forcing him once and for all to give up everything he has worked so hard to achieve up till now. Sébastien isn't sure he's ready for that yet. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
aerie au —
There are moments that cry out to be fulfilled.
Like, telling someone you love them.
Or giving your money away, all of it.
Your heart is beating, isn't it?
You're not in chains, are you?
There is nothing more pathetic than caution
when headlong might save a life,
even, possibly, your own.
[ the last page has a small drawing of a bird trembling with a desire to take flight from his branch, movement visible even in the still drawing. it's signed, as always, ]
— Joe
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For some time, a quiet but very true friendship had been born between him and Joe, and for some time it has been shaking the foundations that had taken his whole life to get here. He would be a willfully ignorant fool if he'd said that this life, this world out of reach of the Congregation is a fair one, because even in the upper echelon of the Volary, there is bias and judgment and rank and he is no stranger to any of those things. The deeds he'd done to pull himself out from the dirty pits of hell keep his hands unclean, and his blood — born of sadness and suffering — remains impure no matter how many glittering jackets he puts on.
But he is still here, still surrounded by riches, and comfort, and a new family (he thinks of Jyn and Margo) — the latter of whom he would do anything for. And Joe had asked him through beautiful words and delicate drawings, but what of everyone else?
He can't get that out of his head, no matter how he might try. That Kai and Nile especially have been thrown into the upcoming Quarry feels like the rose-tinted glasses he'd been desperately trying to keep on are being yanked from his eyes.
Later, Sébastien sends a message: ]
I received your package
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This one was a little different from the others but I liked it
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[ it's dangerous, of course. sébastien is a rook, he could say a word and joe would find his ass in the quarry and nicky absolutely furious with him — joe's rule with himself is that he won't lie to nicky if his kestrel work finds him in the quarry.
but they won't get anywhere being cautious. ]
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[ Silly perhaps that he now finds himself looking for messages in the books that Joe sends him.
This one was much more to the point than some of the others, though. ]
Was this one inspired by something in particular?
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This Quarry is hitting close to home.
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[ Believe it or not. ]
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A girl called Nile and someone I have known for a very long time, Kai
[ The latter is an idiot, honestly, but the former doesn't belong there. ]
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You know Nile and you can stand to sit up in your ivory tower and watch her die and have the audacity to pity yourself?
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It is not that easy
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[ Not if he can help it. He just needs to figure a way out for her, somehow.
Which. He's working on. ]
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Sure, she lives and the Quarry stops mattering to you because your friend isn't in it. No matter that her friends could be dying in a month while she relives what she had to do to survive.
But it's not easy for you.
My mistake.
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None of that is what I had meant
True I never cared much for the Quarry but don't paint me as someone who threw her into it either
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joe considers drop-kicking him. ]
Then do something about it. You have power, use it.
Reread the last lines.
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They wouldn't just hurt him, they would hurt everyone he has ever known and cared about — and yes, that includes Joe. ]
What would you have me do then?
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Move bells into the congregation, convince people with powers to use them to protect the congregation.
[ murder some cardinals, gosh. ]
The Conclave, they like drama. What is more dramatic than upsetting the status quo. It's about time they worked to keep their power.
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[ Some of it is possible enough, untraceable even by him.
Some of it, however, is dangerous, forcing him once and for all to give up everything he has worked so hard to achieve up till now. Sébastien isn't sure he's ready for that yet. ]
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[ it seems like the end of discussion but after a few minutes joe adds: ]
You're a good man, Le Livre. You can do good things.